ok twitter is dead I’m back on tumblr after being gone for like 5 years
this is never going to not be funny
Rob Lowe says “that is fucking hilarious” with the straightest face ever
Bless you, Chris Pratt
This is the hardest I’ve laughed in so long
♫♫That’s not something that props can fix…that’s gonna be a little harder to fix.♫♫
It’s bACK.
I’ve seen this a thousand times and I just realized he knocks the fucking Mac of of the counter too
This was so much funnier when I heard his accent. Hahahaha bless him. “Show me your tits”
Don’t do drugs, ladies and gents. 😂😭😂😭😂😭
“Whats your safe word?”
That part had me weak 😂😭😂😭😂😭
“You think I’m in pilates?”😭
“watch ya fingers bootyhole man!!” Lmfaooaoaoaoooo
Lol i need to be his friend
“Every strong man got a sensitive side”
Lmaooooooooooooooooo
“Ooo that’s cute”
Bruh I love this dude! Why is he getting arrested and is there a link for us to send money to bail him out?
omfg the tears
found a new fucking favorite song right here
Evening made
2 seconds in and I reblogged.
its about time tumblr found this
me: hey how long is this thing going to last
someone: haha you just want to know when you’re off the hook
me: hah
me: (actually i just need to allocate the right expectations and backlog of energy and make sure the rest of my day falls in good accordance with it so that i don’t feel time-crunched and propel myself into a hysteria because if i don’t know how long this thing lasts or when it ends i can’t possibly know when literally anything else starts and my entire life becomes an unraveled realm of anarchy with no rhyme or reason and how is that not terrifying to you)
me: hey how long will this take
someone: oh like twenty minutes
me: ok
*an hour later*
me: *clinging to every learned social skill i can think of with the desperate hope my distress and exhaustion doesn’t show*
someone: hey we’re almost done don’t be so crabby
me: *smiling* *internally screaming at this SENSELESS CHAOS*
someone: hey do you want to do [involving time-consuming thing]
me: hey that sounds fun! when were you thinking?
someone: oh we’re doing it right now
me: oh. like. now-now? like right now. like you want me to stop what i’m doing and get up and do this thing with you, suddenly, with thirty seconds of warning. now. like this second. immediately. now?
